Under-valuing emotional intelligence

In western culture, we tend to think that decisions must be made with the head (the brain’s intelligence) or the heart (emotional intelligence), and that the former is the best approach.

But the idea that our brain’s intelligence is separate from our body and emotions is limited and outdated.

Emotions are brain-body intelligence

The brain constantly uses the body and emotions to inform our decisions and guide us.

Neuroscience research shows that feelings arise when the brain connects meaning to changes in the body. The brain becomes aware of the body’s reactions to stimuli (e.g. a rapid heartbeat or sweaty palms), and makes meaning from them using pre-existing “neural maps” which result from prior experiences and processing.

Similar research suggests that the brain becomes aware of generalized feelings (e.g., pleasant or unpleasant) based on sensations in the body. Then it scans for pre-existing ideas or “concepts” that help categorize the information and give meaning to the generalized feelings. (Check this post for more on how the brain makes emotions.)

For instance, if a person comes to my office and my heart beats faster, whether the emotion is fear or excitement depends on my existing neural maps or concepts of this person (or a similar person).

If I have had a prior positive experience with this person, my brain will interpret the somatic experience of a rapid heartbeat as pleasurable, and the emotion will be something close to excitement – a signal to expect a positive interaction.

However, if my brain connects to a prior negative experience, then it will interpret the rapid heartbeat as unpleasant, giving rise to an emotion like anxiety or annoyance – a signal to do something to avoid potential pain.

How emotional intelligence informs our decisions

The brain is constantly assessing our feelings to help it predict possible outcomes, all in pursuit of the universal goals of achieving pleasure and avoiding pain.

When we weigh different options, we imagine ourselves in the various situations and get a good or bad feeling that helps filter out some of the possibilities.

In making a decision, the brain is always working to predict how we will feel about our potential options. In this way, feelings are always being used in our decisions.

So improving emotional intelligence can actually improve our predictions, problem-solving and decisions (i.e., our intellectual intelligence).

3 ways to improve emotional intelligence

1. Lose the “heart vs. head” concept. When we recognize that both logic and feelings are useful information and involved in predictions and decisions, we can avoid the pressure and stress of trying to choose one and ignore the other.

2. Pay attention to your body’s physical sensations more. Improving attention and awareness of what is happening in your body will increase your somatic experience and understanding of your feelings. You can do this by simply pausing, turning your attention inward, noticing what’s happening in the body and then putting that into words. This process will help to clarify the somatic experience and create clearer neural maps for the brain to use in the future.

3. Label your emotions and include them as information. Instead of dismissing a feeling, try to first understand what it is. All emotions provide us with us information. The more specific you can be name the emotion, the more you will improve your understanding and neural mapping of the emotion. The result is an improved ability to predict whether a potential outcome is likely to get you closer to pleasure or pain.

With practice, your brain will get better at predicting outcomes using all information available in the body and brain. That will improve your emotional and intellectual intelligence.