Busy-ness and Chaos

In a culture that equates busyness with importance and productivity with worth, we can easily find ourselves in a state of perpetual urgency. We move from meeting to meeting, task to task, rarely pausing to catch our breath.

And with Thanksgiving around the corner and holidays approaching, as the to-do list grows, often so does our sense of urgency.

Add to that the chaos and uncertainty of our current times (with political division, economic pressures, global tensions, rapid technological change), and many of us can feel like we’re white-knuckling our way through the day.

Through the busy-ness and chaos, our brains are living more in survival mode. And in survival mode, we’re not at our best – we’re reacting.

The good news is that this holiday offers us more than a day off. It gives us a scientifically-backed practice that can help us navigate uncertainty and show up as our best selves: gratitude.

The Cost of Survival Mode

Let’s start with what’s happening in your brain when you’re in survival mode.

Your amygdala, which is a cluster of neurons deep in the limbic brain, acts as a threat detector. While our ancestors relied on it to escape predators, today it responds to chaos and overwhelm as if they were similar threats.

When the amygdala is activated, your body floods with stress chemicals. Your heart rate increases, your breathing becomes shallow, and your brain narrows its focus to immediate survival. This might help you in the short-term, but it comes at a cost.

In survival mode, you might:

• Make mistakes
• Struggle to see the bigger picture
• React defensively to feedback or challenges
• Find it harder to connect authentically with others
• Experience decision fatigue and mental exhaustion

Most critically, survival mode suppresses your prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your brain responsible for your best thinking: strategic planning, emotional regulation, empathy, sound judgment, and wise decision-making. Whether you’re leading a team, navigating a difficult conversation with a family member, or simply trying to make good choices for yourself, you need access to this part of your brain.

Activating Your Thriving Brain

Our prefrontal cortex is like our brain’s CEO. This is where you do your best thinking, where you can weigh options thoughtfully, regulate your emotions, understand others’ perspectives, and make decisions aligned with your values.

But while stress chemicals activate the amygdala, they also inhibit the prefrontal cortex. This is where gratitude comes in – it can reverse this effect.

Research consistently shows us the power of gratitude to affect our brain:

UC Berkeley researchers studied nearly 300 college students seeking mental health services. Those who wrote gratitude letters for three weeks showed significantly better mental health and greater prefrontal cortex activation both one month and three months later compared to control groups.

A collaborative study from UC, Northeastern, Harvard, and UC Riverside found that gratitude practice reduced impatience and strengthened self-control – both functions of the prefrontal cortex.

Indiana University researchers found that people who wrote thank-you letters while entering therapy for depression and anxiety showed greater neural sensitivity to gratitude three months later, with significantly more prefrontal cortex activity.

Gratitude can literally rewire your brain for clearer thinking, better emotional regulation, and more intentional living.

The Practice of Gratitude

Your mental state matters. When you’re in survival mode, the people in your life feel it. When you operate from your prefrontal cortex, you can be more calm, clear, and connected – they can feel that too. If you’re a leader, your presence can set the tone for your entire team.

Showing up with from a clear, self-regulated state is critical not only for leadership, but for greater authentic connections – so important in these chaotic times.

Here are some ways to build a regular gratitude practice:

In the moment: When you feel overwhelmed or triggered, pause. Take three deep breaths. Name three things you’re grateful for right now. This simple practice can shift you out of reactivity and back into presence.

Daily anchoring: Start each morning with a gratitude journal. Write 3-5 things you’re thankful for before diving into email or your task list. This sets your brain’s baseline for the day. Many of my coaching clients find this single practice transformative.

Mindful noticing: Throughout your day, pause to appreciate simple pleasures – your morning coffee, sunlight through a window, a genuine laugh with a colleague or loved one. These micro-moments train your brain to notice what’s working, not just what’s wrong.

Relationship deepening: Write a heartfelt thank-you message to someone who has made a difference in your life or work. Be specific about their impact. Research shows that even if you don’t send it, the act of writing activates your prefrontal cortex and strengthens your sense of connection.

Collective practice: Start meetings or meals with a gratitude round. When each person shares something they’re grateful for, you collectively shift the group’s energy and create psychological safety. This works beautifully with teams, families, or any group gathering, particularly during stressful times.

The Ripple Effects of Gratitude

The habits we practice shape how we show up. If we spend most of our time in survival mode, we normalize stress and reactivity. We model for those around us that perpetual overwhelm is just “how it is.”

If we can practice gratitude, we can operate from a different place. We can model presence over panic. We make room for clear thinking. We stay connected to what matters most.

In times of uncertainty and chaos, gratitude isn’t about denying what’s difficult or pretending everything is fine. It’s about training your brain to hold both realities: yes, things are challenging, and there is still good to be found. This capacity to acknowledge struggle while remaining anchored in appreciation can allow us to navigate hard times without being consumed by them.

Consider gratitude not as a once-a-year sentiment, but as a daily practice for your well-being and effectiveness. The more consistently you practice, the more you strengthen the neural pathways that support your best self.

Your brain, the people who depend on you, and the world that needs your presence will all be grateful.