The procrastination task

We all have a mental to-do list. On that list is often at least one task that we keep procrastinating on.

We think we gotta do it, so it begrudgingly goes on the list, but we really don’t want to.

This procrastination is usually a form of resistance.

The price of resistance

The problem is, that this thing that we really don’t want to deal with takes up a lot of our energy even though we aren’t actually tackling it.

It takes energy for the brain to hold it in our mind, and even more to hold it with resistance.

When we think of it, there’s an internal “ugh,” a turning away, or even resentment.

We might start an internal dialogue about it: why do I have to do that? why can’t someone else do that? I shouldn’t have to deal with this…

That’s exhausting.

When we feel we don’t have a choice, not only does that heighten resistance, but it can start a stress response.

There’s always a choice

It’s easy to simply react to the task like you have no choice but to do this thing you don’t want to do.

This happened to me recently when, while on vacation, I got multiple notices by my credit card company that my social security number was found on the “dark web.”  They told me I should place a fraud alert through a credit agency and request a copy of my credit report.

I definitely had an internal “ugh” about doing that. I made up all kinds of stories about it being a long, painful process, and frankly I was scared what I might find.

So I put it off, but it was on my list when I got home, and still I did not want to deal with it.

Then someone offered me the phrase, “I don’t have to.” I realized this was true. I didn’t actually have to do anything.

After thinking about doing nothing, I realized this would be worse, because I really wanted to do what I could to protect myself from fraud. I also realized I was grateful to be notified by my credit card company.

Suddenly, the task wasn’t a “have to” but a “want to”; I lost the resistance and stopped procrastinating on it that day. (BTW, it was not nearly as onerous as I’d imagined.)

Whatever the situation, you always have control over over your own priorities, and how you choose to respond.

Sometimes your choice may simply be in your own attitude or perspective on the situation.

This is much less stressful than resisting or believing that you are powerless.

Choice is freedom

You always have some choice, even if it’s simply over how you want to view a task or situation.

When you recognize this freedom, the stress response eases, and with it, the resistance and procrastination.

In my coaching, I do a lot of work with clients around recognizing choice and moving into powerful perspectives. It can totally ease stress and spark motivation.

Consider these powerful words from the Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl:

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Freedom and well-being

Recognizing that we have a choice isn’t just helpful for procrastination, it’s also good for our well-being.

Research shows that believing we have control in a situation positively affects our physical and mental health. And the more control we believe we have, the better. One study showed people with cancer who have a greater perception of control survive longer.

Another study from the 1970s showed that elderly people in a nursing home who were told to take responsibility for themselves and choose how to spend their time were happier than those who had everything taken care of for them. In fact, 18 months later, the residents who had greater agency and choice continued to be more engaged and healthier than those who were passive residents.

You don’t have to

What if you actually didn’t have to do that thing?

What if you didn’t do it?

When you consider the possibility that you don’t have to, you will likely realize that you actually want to, because doing it supports a value or priority that you have.

You almost always have a choice.

When you remember that, you are free. With that freedom, you can loosen the resistance, procrastination or stress around it.

Give it a try, and let me know how it goes!

Photo by Magnet.me on Unsplash